Eating, Coast to Coast

They say an army travels on its stomach. If that’s true, then by the looks of my crew, we don’t travel that well. The wife’s a svelte size 8, our soy-lovin’ 4-year-old is lean and mean (probably due to lots of basketball and impromptu dancing), and 2-year-old Maddux (aka, “Mad Dog”) probably lost those chubby baby cheeks somewhere along the way trying to keep up with his brother. As for me, well, I, ahem… Three out of four is still pretty good.

But don’t be fooled. My army knows how to chow down. Our love of food should never be questioned, nor our willingness to investigate the local cuisine on our many travels, a few Burger Kings notwithstanding. In fact, in a world fast becoming homogenized with the same slew of Starbucks, Pottery Barns, and Wal-Marts, it’s the chance to sample the local cuisine that has emerged as one of the best reasons to break out the travel atlas. And when in Rome, we eat like the Romans. And we eat a lot. Here are a few of the family favorites.

So bedazzled was I of the lobster roll I ate in Maine that I took its picture so as never to forget it. I carry it in my wallet, right next to my picture of my son. The sandwich is the best $7 I ever spent. What a looker. The kid’s pretty handsome, too.

The best thing in Albuquerque, besides taking in an Isotopes ball game and the dry heat, of course, are the waffles from the Waffle House. As big as the plate, these flat and tasty gems can be found all over town, and now I know why. Because the people of Albuquerque know a good thing when they eat it. And now I do, too. Road trip anyone?

Get off the Interstate and keep those speeds low the next time your travels lead you to Michigan. How else can you discover the many roadside stands selling amazing batches of blueberries? Don’t bother putting them in a pie, cobbler, or smoothie, either. Knock those berries back right there in the RV, one at a time. It’s like eating summer. Smile. Repeat as necessary.

Like cheeseburgers? Who are we kidding, of course you do. Here’s my nominees for the best burgers, one in each time zone: the McCloskey Burger (ask for sherry cream sauce on the side) at McCloskey’s in Ardmore, Pennsylvania; the Hackney Burger, served on rye bread with a brick of onion rings at a suburban Chicago institution, Hackney’s, in Lake Zurich, Illinois, and the almighty Double-Double at In-N-Out Burgers, found just about anywhere in California and parts of Arizona and Nevada, too. Otherwise, reach for a steamed (yes, steamed) bacon cheeseburger from the Midwest’s finest fast-food option, White Castle. Have ten, they’re small.

If you can somehow get the RV over the Pacific, a stop at Maui’s Sansei restaurant is a must. Order plenty of carefully crafted yet slightly whimsical (cheap, too) sushi and wash it down with the local libation, the Lava Flow. Then let someone else do the driving.

Consider a few other must-haves, if for no other reason than to not upset the locals: pulled pork just about anywhere in North Carolina; a hot dog at Boston’s Fenway Park (booing the Yankees is optional); a bratwurst from Sheboygan, Wisconsin (better yet, a venison brat); Cuban fare in Tampa’s Ybor City; the freshest salmon on earth in Seattle, Washington; fish tacos and a refreshing cerveza from a seaside shanty just about anywhere in the Baja Peninsula; shrimp cocktail at the mahogany bar at New York City’s Bull and Bear, and a giant tenderloin from about anyplace in Eastern Iowa. Hey, I didn’t get this physique by running marathons, people

My travels have unearthed several key go-to desserts as well. There’s a reason Bananas Foster is ubiquitous throughout New Orleans. Caramelized sugar, hot banana sauce, melting ice cream. Say it with me, “mmmm.” When in the Florida Keys, key lime pie is the way to go. It’s wonderfully tart, refreshing, and a great way to ward off scurvy. A funnel cake on the Jersey Shore is a must. But don’t be like that lady who barked at the server to leave off the powdered sugar because she just had surgery. Lady, it’s deep-friend dough. The sugar is the least of your problems.

OK, I did my part for humanity; now it’s your turn to share.

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